Today, we'll share one of our tips from our Resilient program (the new sister to our famous Focus program).
Many of the HR contacts I work with have been talking about the Great Resignation.
I do not view this as a bad thing.
Not at all.
When I was a leader, there was nothing better than someone self-selecting themselves out of their role they were unfulfilled by and moving to one that they could bring their all to.
The challenge is when people are in that “in-between“ stage and breed a lot of toxicity within the team. Many people can't handle the stress when considering leaving their job and channel this into toxic behavior.
When faced with stressful situations and uncertainty we tend to create black and white judgments of “this” is good and “this” is bad.
Judgment is often a way of gaining control and making ourselves feel better about what we are moving away from.
But in fact, judging can increase your stress because it tends to separate or divide us.
Judgment can lead you to exaggerate on why something is bad enough that you feel justified for leaving. And the last thing we want is for you (or anyone) to become that toxic teammate or employee.
What you might be moving away from could be the dream job for someone else.
When we create judgements, ultimately are protecting our ego or trying to control and situation.
So what I’d like to replace judgment with is discernment. Instead of thinking this is bad or this is good… how about framing it as "this is good for me, or this isn’t good for me".
Discernment requires using your intuition and senses.
So how do you move out of judgment and into discernment?
Keep it Simple:
· Pause in the Present.
· Observe how you feel.
· Move towards what feels good and away from what doesn’t feel good.
Keep it simple and tap into what you feel. You don’t need a story justifying why or analyzing how terrible (boss, job, pay, location, commute – etc. is)
Scenario: When you have an interview
Notice how you feel in your body or what intuitively comes up. Rather than saying that “person was weird” or “this company sounds horrible,” lets replace that with observations of how you felt or what intuitively comes up for you- rather than justifying and analyzing.
Discernment can lead to thoughts like:
· I noticed I felt very on edge around them, so that’s not a route I’m going to pursue.
· I felt very on edge, but my intuition says to meet with another person.
· I noticed I am really attracted to the high pay, but I still don’t feel very comfortable with all the people I’ve met there, so I’m not going to pursue it.
Discernment comes from a place of the observer that values our gut
reaction to a situation rather than the mind that wants to analyze through bias, certainty or perceived outcomes.
When I hear my clients say “that boss/ company/ job is horrible” I like to remind them that they are only responsible for their next steps only. I then suggest they stop making things more energy intensive or stressful by justifying their choice to move on.
When we discern, we are also moving away from seeking approval from others. Simply leaning into what feels good or away from what doesn’t is justification enough.
Need to build more resiliency in the face of uncertainty or stress? Contact me for a FREE 30 minute coaching call